On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she pinky promised me she was 18
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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