sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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