she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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