I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
