My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
