I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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