I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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