He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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