and you said cock pushups were impossible
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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