My friends, they love my intelligence
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
vagina is talking i cant
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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