Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
