I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
