Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
