WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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