I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
