Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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