There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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