I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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