she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
