is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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