So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
