Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
