first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
