Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
