Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize