She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
