We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
