well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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