if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
