i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
