I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
