Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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