Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
