Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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