On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
