what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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