Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Randomize
