i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
