It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
he just fucked me for my cheese.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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