Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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