So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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