I feel like I'm in dance class right now
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
