Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Is her dick bigger than yours?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I want is dick and wine.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
