Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
