a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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