You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
