i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
