She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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