I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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