Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
